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But the age gap worried me, even though the more time we spent together, the more we got on. And soon I realised I was being prejudiced about younger guys. Dennis, 29, adds: Age differences between gay couples are much more common that straight ones. Freud might encourage the assumption that there are a few father issues for both the younger and older man. We may see manipulation, a life crisis, one being kept or something worse.
However, an age gap relationship can be functional and successful if built on solid foundations with mutuality. Gay age gaps like that between Tom and Dustin are nothing new. Oscar Wilde was 36 when he became involved with the year-old Lord Alfred Douglas. Stephen Fry made headlines in when he started dating actor Steven Webb, despite their year age difference. And designer Calvin Klein was 48 years older than his ex-partner, model Nick Gruber.
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But that nine years was enough for Joe to be on the receiving end of a flurry of nasty Facebook messages when the two began dating. But when it came to talking about my relationship with James, I got so much hate online. If I post pictures of us I will get more than messages saying they want to sleep with him.
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The age gap comments were a whole new level of nastiness and jealousy. At one point I even thought about ending the relationship; it would have been so much easier to go out with someone my own age. According to Lemarc Thomas, an age gap is just one of many factors which can contribute to whether a relationship is functional or dysfunctional.